Thursday, May 29, 2014

60 Colleges Being Investigated For Sexual Assault Polices

Read this article in The Huffington Post. Sixty colleges are being investigated for sexual assault polices, and the number is growing. It in fact grew by five colleges in the last month. That's scary, but that means this is a real problem that is starting to be addressed. I hope Northern Michigan makes its way up there. I really hope.

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Wednesday, May 28, 2014


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"success at trial"

My last email from the Marquette prosecutor.
Sorry I didn't get back with you sooner-have been in-court and out of the office.  In my review of the documents you sent, it didn't appear to me that the case was any stronger than when we denied it originally and in fact had weakened considerably with the passage of time.  I did provide the information you passed on to me.  The standard we must meet in authorizing a charge is the ability to prove the case at trial.  Given the complex nature of your relationship with Mr.*****, I think the Jury would have issues returning a guilty verdict, even though a guilty verdict may be the right outcome.  We do often charge cases where the victim and/or the defendant are outside of the area.  You should understand that you may have a civil action against Mr. ***** and since the standard of proof in such a case is lower than in a criminal case, your likelihood of success is higher.
I know it is disappointing to hear that the case will not be proceeding.  Understand that this is not a reflection of your veracity or a denial of what you experienced, but rather, a determination as to the likelihood of success at trial."
Success at trial.
I'm not finished.
This is not the end, I will find a way.  
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Tuesday, May 20, 2014


Yesterday a girl from my school was playing around and tried to snap my backside with a towel, she friendly like smiled and said "I almost got you!".

It's not her fault, she doesn't know.

She missed.
But my mind and heart went in to panic mode, this silly ordeal was in slow motion as I cried out a fearful no.

I tried to laugh it off to her. But my heart pounded in fear for an hour, what if she really had hit me?

I can't be hit there,

I just can't now.
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Monday, May 19, 2014


I'm frustrated. I feel like higher powers above me don't want to listen. I refuse to give up on charges. I am still trying to get in contact with the prosecutor and Marquette victim witness. Last week I called the prosecutor's office and was able to talk to a woman there who said she would give my information to the prosecutor to contact me. I told her that he had told me to send more information to try to get my case reopened, which I did, then he sent it to the detective who had shut me down. That the detective had sounded mad at me for even bringing anything up about it. It did not seem that the detective had been informed about any plan about more information to preopen charges. The school wants nothing to do with me I feel but they are impossible to by pass. Hopefully I get to talk to the prosecutor or victim witness soon. The next step would be sending my story to the newspaper....which is just terrifying.

I guess schools not properly reporting and dealing with sexual assault is a national epidemic problem currently for more information you can visit and also file a complaint if you don't believe your school is dealing appropriately with your case.

Every time someone reads my blog my story, then more people know, it can help others. But I must keep spreading the word.

I guess all I can do right now is not give up. Keep contacting. Be that girl who won't give up.

Make people listen.

Domestic Violence



Like father like son.

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Wednesday, May 14, 2014

10 things men can do to end violence against women.

Haven't Posted For A Little

I haven't posted for a little bit. I turned 21, it was kind of lonely, no real big celebration.

but that's ok.

I had a nightmare the other night, it was scary.

I dreamt I was at my abuser's house because I had to gather my things. They were boxes that were heavy, I kept not being able to pick them all up. My abuser appeared at the door. In my dreams he always looks picture perfect to his real self. I tried to grab my boxes, he kept taking them away, hitting me, calling me names. I went up to what was supposed to be his room tried to open his door, it was locked. I knew there was evidence in there to prove what he did to me, make it so that others believed me, evidence to get charges. I couldn't get to it. The me in the dream kept asking about the lipstick on the floor, being afraid he was hurting another girl. The outside me in my head was saying "Stop asking questions Mary! Grab your stuff and leave!!" I tried to grab everything again and run to leave. He started to beat me, took a gun out. I said "Fine! Beat me, Kill me! Just Shoot me!". If he killed me, if he shot me. Then they'd know what he did. He would get charges. He was holding me down on the floor shooting bullets around me, as I was screaming and crying out. His parents were talking in the other room. They didn't notice me. Didn't notice what he was doing to me. Didn't try to help me. My abuser shot me in my hand. As the bullet shot through my skin. My cat Noodles was there. I told my abuser I would leave, just let me grab my things, I'd never talk to him again, not put charges on him, pretend what he did to me never happened, if he didn't hurt her. He said he promised he'd never hurt her in the most sincere voice. I turned to grab my things. In a wicked demented tone he called out "Noodles" the house walls opened up as he called to her. His gun loaded. I ran to her screaming out Noodles as he fired at her. Noodles looked up at me one last time as I  woke up screaming out Noodles.

He had shot her.

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Monday, May 5, 2014

My 21 present to myself

My new tattoo!! It says "Speak the truth even if your voice shakes." It is my 21st birthday gift to myself in honor of being a survivor of domestic abuse and sexual assault. The quote is the quote that hung on the wall at the domestic abuse shelter in Marquette, MI. The flowers are because when I was assaulted I used to clear my head and think of flowers to get through it. The little flowers are purple because purple is the color for domestic abuse survivors I'm so happy I've wanted this for so long now definitely worth the pain!

Friday, May 2, 2014



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Thursday, May 1, 2014

She was five

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