Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Signs of being in an abusive relationship

Signs you may be in an abusive relationship.

1. Jealousy/possessiveness
Jealous over your family or friends. May become jealous over children. Wants you to be isolated. Accuses you of cheating or flirting. Calls constantly, visits often unrepentantly, always wanting to know where you are/what you are doing. Sees you as his property. Isolates you keeps you away from your family and friends. Deprives you from a phone or car, prevents you from holding a job.

2. Control
Must be your center of attention. Makes you ask permission to do or go anywhere. Controls finances, car, and the activities you are involved in. Takes extra precautions to check up on you, such as counting mileage on car, checking all shopping recites. Becomes angry if you show signs of independence or strength.

3. Unrealistic Expectations/Superiority
He is always right, has to win or be in charge. He blames his actions on others or you, it is always someone else's fault if something goes wrong. Makes you feel weak so he can feel powerful. He expects you to be the perfect person, and meet their every need. They are always more important than you. Has a bad, uncontrollable temper. Thinks there is nothing wrong with him, doesn't want to seek help. Disrespects women.

4. Manipulates/ Punishes You
Physically, emotionally, sexually punishes you. Humiliates/yells at you. Belittles, threatens and puts you down. Makes you fear him or his rules. Plays the silent games with you when he doesn't get his way. Destroys belongings. Threatens to commit suicide if you leave. Mood swings that switch from aggressive to abusive to apologetic and loving after the abuse.


It Is Still Abuse If . . .

  • The incidents of physical abuse seem minor when compared to those you have read about, seen on television or heard other women talk about. There isn’t a “better” or “worse” form of physical abuse; you can be severely injured as a result of being pushed, for example.
  • The incidents of physical abuse have only occurred one or two times in the relationship. Studies indicate that if your spouse/partner has injured you once, it is likely he will continue to physically assault you.
  • The physical assaults stopped when you became passive and gave up your right to express yourself as you desire, to move about freely and see others, and to make decisions. It is not a victory if you have to give up your rights as a person and a partner in exchange for not being assaulted!
  • There has not been any physical violence. Many women are emotionally and verbally assaulted. This can be as equally frightening and is often more confusing to try to understand.
Source: Breaking the Silence: a Handbook for Victims of Violence in Nebraska


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